Ocean of Memory

When I am quiet,millions of things are running in my mind.
When I am not arguing,I am thinking deeply.
When I looks at u with eyes full of questions,I am wondering how long you will be around.
When I answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,I am not at all fine.
When I stares at you,I am wondering why you are lying.
When i lays on your chest,I am wishing for you to be mine forever.
When I call you everyday,I am seeking for your attention.
When I sms u everyday,I wants you to reply at least once.
When I says I love you,I meant it.
When I say that I can't live without you,I've made up my mind that you are my future.
When I says "i miss you",No one in this world can miss you more than me...........

For all of you, i am a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. I am a partner, a student, a young girl, and a grown woman. I am confident and scared terrified and excited. I am loving and caring, and thoughtful, and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly, and careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided, and mislead. I am hardworking and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and dream my dreams. I pray to God and cry my tears. I smile on the outside, while I'm dying on the inside. I listen to others who won't listen to me. I walk on eggshells, and I walk on fire. I believe in passion but not true love. I am everything and nothing all at once. All i want is for you to LOVE ME!!!

Aku ngah bosan sebenarnye nie..ngah tak saba nak tunggu petang coz petang nih aku ngan member-member aku nak pergi karaoke..yuhuu..kami nak release tension cket coz pagi tadi dah lepas paper kedua kami iaitu CTU265..huhu..tak salah kan sekali sekali nak enjoy..

Nyana Ayla
- Very ambitious. (Of Course)
- Brave and daring attitude. (Sumtime)
- Devoted lover. (Yup)
- Sensitive nature. (Totally True)
- You get jealous easily. (100% True)
- You also get angry very easily. (It's Me)
- You are proud of your achievements. (Not Really)
- Attention seeker. (Maybe)
- Very generous. (Haha..No Comment)
- Easy going. (Sumtime)
- Strong character. (Maybe)
- Born to be successful. (Of Course)
- Observant. (I don't Know)
- Creative bent of mind. (Not really)
- Caring and loving. (Haha..Suda semestinyer)
- Faithful friend. (Yup)

My Strengh:
- Analytical
- Observant
- Helpful
- Reliable
- Precise
My Weakness :
- Skeptical
- Fussy
- Inflexible
- Cold
- Interfering

Independence:
I'm fully able to put my intelligence to use and get things done for myselves. It is possible however that my narrow mindedness causes my creativity to suffer and I may lead regular routine lives.I may dwell too much on the past and over complicate things and this may limit my ability to move forward and confuse myselves. In conclusion, I'm able to be independent but the less evolved types will have difficult if someone is not there helping me to achieve more and not be so critical of myselves.

Friendship:
People look up to me for friends because I am straight thinkers and solve problems logically. I am truthful, loyal and determined. Some people might find me cold or emotionally detached because I live in my minds, not in my emotions and feelings. It might be hard to pin down how am I feeling because I easily live in denial. A person who is able to read deep into another person will notice when I am not well but if I confront them about it, I'm would rather retreat then talk about it. It is best to keep your emotional distance from me unless I open up to you first. I might try to analyze and control a friend's life but only with the idea that I will improve my life, not purely for the sake of controlling. Be patient with me and understand that my recommendations are only to make your life better.

Business:
I am very intelligent, I have an excellent memory and a highly analytical mind. This makes me good investigators and researchers. I'm also have the ability to probe into a person's emotions and I can often see into people and detect what their motives are. This makes me great policemen or interrogators. I am very good at problem solving, this is what I do my best. I am confronted with a problem, I will pick apart the pieces and put it together in the proper order. I am rational thinkers and are good at settling other people's disputes and putting them on the right track for reconciliation. Any position that requires the above features, which is a very long list, is perfect for me. I keep the world in order. :)

Temperament:
Before I plunges into anything, from a problem to a vacation idea, I need to analyze all the facts and know all the details before I plunge in and make a decision. This makes me seem indecisive and slow. My perception is my reality, more so then other astrology signs. What I believe is what will be, if I have a negative outlook on life, things will present myselves to be negative and I will be very moody and isolated/detached. If I were positive, the same events that occur will be held in a positive light and I will be a pleasant, well adjusted person. My mind is a very powerful mind and I must have the proper attitude for my life to be happy and successful. I needs to get in touch with my feelings, this is why I usually seem cold or detached. I am very prone of living in denial. I will say the feel okay or everything is alright even when it's not. This is an easy way out, the one thing that I does not like to analyze is my feelings so pretending everything is okay is a good defense mechanism for not having to take a closer look at my feelings. I had an unpredictable and sometimes unstable temperament.

Deep Inside:
I need to be organized in my mind, sometimes all my energy is taken from organizing my mind that I have a difficult time organizing my surroundings. I'm easily look too deep into an issue and over analyze what I'm percept. I am ambitious and strives to always know more and have more. This is in my eternal quest to bring order to chaos. Even if order is obtained from an outsiders' point of view, I will not be settled for I have a very active mind that is always thinking and can never be silenced. I want to be of use, I need to be important and essential to everyone in my lives and in everything I do. My major life lesson is to learn to trust in and have faith in the unknown. I have to understand that things in life happen for a reason that is not always known to me, I do not have to always know everything. I need to learn to calm down and not over-analyze a situation or event. Deep inside, I am very sensitive and I need to be appreciated for all the things I do. When I am offended or hurt, I may never show it.

In a Nutshell:
I'm exists in the mind, everything is inside. To the world, I presents a calm and collected exterior but on the inside, nervous uncontrolled intensity in the mind, trying to figure things out, how to improve everything, analyzing and thinking. I can tire myself out without even moving! I have a constant drive to improve and perfect, this can lead to extreme pickiness and finickiest. I am pure, my motives are honest never malicious and I want to accomplish something... :)


So, to who are know everything about me, can asses it on your own either it is true or not.. [AyLa]

I AM WORTHLESS!!I am not worthy of having anyone... I am not wanted by anything or anyone. I am alone. People treat me like shit! People take what they want from me and go.. "Sorry, I gotta go", "Sorry, I gotta go meet someone" but it al boils down to the foot that people are leaving, and not returning. So, I sit here alone. Alone I sit once again. One single stray emotion, on this lonely night, opens the floods gates as this tital wave of pleeding fears flow from these orbs. Incritable silence rings off this solitary walls. The gentle whisper of tears hitting the floor beneath me is the only sound, except for the ringing of your voice in my head which is my only comfort and my biggest fear... Watching all the happy moments abandon me like every human has done no one wants me in their life. They don't care about me. I am not wanted. I am not needed. I am used... I am lied to... and I am hated... Most of all, I am alone...

I AM UGLY!! I am not pretty. I am not happy... I am cruel... I am lost and cold... Forsaken by all man. I am a piece of worthless shit!! No one wants or need to be with or around me in their life for I don't provide enough. I am not a good friend.. I am not a good person.. And I am not a good girlfriend.. I would not be a good wife.. I am a moron.. I am a child.. I am lost and tired.. I am drained and I am abandoned.. I am not anyone's dream, fantasy, life, or lover.. I would not make a good friend.. I AM A BURDEN!!!